I believe that we now have a new genre for certain films. I like to call this genre “Movies for the Lobotomized.” Surely that’s a bit mean, you say. But I ask, have you seen Home Sweet Home Alone? A Disney Plus affair that makes the perfect case for my argument. Because I firmly believe that the ONLY people who could get any enjoyment out of this are the lobotomized.
Home Sweet Home Alone is a direct-to-Disney Plus pseudo-remake/sequel to the original 90's Christmas Classic. Set in Chicago, it tells the story of Jeff and Pam MacKenzie, a down on their luck couple who have hit hard financial times and are forced to sell their cute little home in the suburbs. Jeff discovers that a rare old doll he has in his possession is worth a fortune and could just be their ticket out of selling their home. Only problem is the doll has gone missing.
Wait, wait, hold up. I thought we said this was Home Alone? So where’s the usual Home Alone formula of the bratty kid being left alone at Christmas only to learn a lesson in life? Meet Max Mercer (Archie Yates). A British expat living with his Mum in a lavish mansion with what I guess is a Stepfather? I don’t know, the film never bothers to explain any of this as it rushes forward at attention deficit disorder levels of pacing so why should I care? In desperate need of a bathroom, Max and his mother find themselves stopping in during an open house at the MacKenzie residence. Here Max meets Jeff and discovers his rare doll collection.
Back at home, we’re then quickly introduced to Max’s rowdy step siblings.Naturally it's Christmas chaos as the family prepares to head to Tokyo. Max wishes they would all just disappear and in typical Home Alone formula, the kid gets his wish as he finds himself miscounted and home alone.
Getting back to the MacKenzies, Jeff believes that Max has stolen the rare doll in question and plots to get it back by breaking into what he believes is an empty home. Little does he know that Max is still home and thus the wacky hi jinks begin.
In case you couldn’t already tell, the one minor clever thing that you could potentially praise this film for is that it attempts to flip the typical Home Alone formula on its head. It attempts to focus on the would-be Burglars by seemingly making the kid the villain. The only problem being this is Disney we’re talking about and of course, we can’t have the kid be the villain. I could see this premise working in a potential R-Rated Dark Horror Comedy but as is presented here? It’s grossly misjudged and ultimately confused as to who the good guys really are.
So this entire movie hinges on a bogus misunderstanding that would take all of 5 minutes to clear up in the real world. But unfortunately these characters are all seemingly as brain dead as the screenwriters writing for them.
There is no sense of reality in this movie. For as cartoony as John Hughes and Chris Columbus’ original movie got in the back end, that movie at least tried to adhere to some sense of logical reality. In Home Sweet Home Alone, I am convinced we are looking at characters who have been completely lobotomized as they make some of the dumbest decisions I’ve seen made in a movie in a LONG time.
Naturally, we get the usual Home Alone booby traps as Max believes they want to kidnap and sell him on the black market, but honestly, who fucking cares? They make this couple so empathetic that they forget the one rule of Looney Tunes-style slapstick comedy. It’s not fun to laugh at their pain if we actually like them! That’s the problem. They are too sympathetic for their own good. They’re down on their luck and are making stupid illogical choices. So why should I laugh when the kid is firing Billiard Balls at their face?
The reason it worked in the original film is simply because Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern were the bad guys as seen through Kevin’s eyes. We were watching that story through Kevin’s perspective. They were villainous, they were capable of hurting him. Hell, they wanted to hurt him! Hence it was funny to laugh at their pain in the same way that it is funny to watch the Roadrunner mess with Wile E Coyote.
That’s the resounding feeling I got while watching Home Sweet Home Alone. What is the point of this film? To watch stupid characters make bad choices? To watch pratfalls that aren’t funny because the characters are too empathetic? To watch a kid I don’t come to care about in the slightest learn the same moral point as in the original? That being away from your family at Christmas sucks. Why wouldn’t I just watch the original Home Alone then?
For as much as snobby film fans like to rag on Chris Columbus and his over reliance on sentimentality, there is at least one thing even that type could say for certain about the original Home Alone. Chris Columbus and his crew were actually trying to make a film that would stand the test of time. They actually cared about what they were making.
The original film is warm and inviting with its red and green Christmas color palette. John Williams' original score is one of his best works (sadly they try to evoke that score here which only added to my anger as it’s completely unearned.) Macaulay Culkin was a charming and likable kid.
Not only that but the adult cast is also really funny in that original film. As I get older, I find myself really appreciating the adult cast more and more. Catherine O’Hara is wonderful at finding the line between desperate and comedic in that film. Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern make a very amusing pair at evoking the Rocky and Mugsy type. Not to mention the wonderful Church scene with Robert Blossoms that steals the film entirely. And the eventual pratfalls are actually funny in a warped Looney Tunes fashion.
The original film still resonates with my generation to this day for all of those reasons. There is absolutely NOTHING about Home Sweet Home Alone that stands out. There was no reason for this film to exist and I am convinced it is but another disposable piece of shit made for the sake of quantity over quality. Yes, I am aware this franchise has already been dragged through the mud time and time again with the other made-for-TV sequels and this is nothing new. But I honestly think this one is even more insulting than those because it tries so desperately evoke the nostalgia for that original film and fails so miserably.
The color palette is dull and grey. The house is cold and uninviting. The kid is not charming in the slightest. The adult cast is not funny or given anything of interest to do. There is just NOTHING here that I can actually praise outside of that one subversive idea that could be interesting in a different movie. Excuse my language, but fuck everyone involved with this miserable cash grab. At least Culkin had the good sense not to get involved with it.
-Daniel M
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