[Review] - Evil Dead Rise (2023)

‘Evil Dead Rise’ is the latest installment in the long running ‘Evil Dead’ franchise. Gone is Bruce Campbell and in his place a close knit family led by a recently divorced mother (Alyssa Sutherland). After a violent earthquake rocks their rundown apartment, the kids stumble on the infamous book of the dead buried beneath the parking complex. Simple curiosity leads to disaster as the kids unwittingly unleash hell on earth. Soon after, the matriarch of the family becomes possessed by the deadites and once again, it’s spam in an apartment block.

‘Rise’ faithfully adheres to the tried and true ‘Evil Dead’ formula albeit with one major change. It transplants the action from a musty run down cabin in the remote forest to a deteriorating apartment block in downtown LA. The change of setting is somewhat appreciated. But unfortunately, ‘Rise’ does suffer from some of the same issues that plagued the 2013 remake.

Whereas the tone of the original trilogy was one of manic absurdity, ‘Rise’ is much more concerned with simply playing up the shock and awe factor by way of over the top gore. By comparison, Sam Raimi’s original films could be best described as anarchist as they played up an almost ‘Three Stooges’ style of physical comedy with gore in place of custard pies. Tonally speaking, ‘Rise’ is much more comparable to the sadistic nature of the 2013 remake. Although, to its credit, it does show a little more restraint. 

One of the most interesting things about the original ‘Evil Dead’ was how it presented the world surrounding it. The forest itself was a character in itself as it grew as equally deranged as those who were possessed by the deadites. By transplanting it to a rundown apartment, some of that feel is lost in the process as the apartment block has very little character. The residents that live within are all merely cannon fodder. As such, the apartment block itself isn’t exactly memorable.

That tangible quality of the world gone crazy is somewhat missing in ‘Rise.’ For instance, in the original ‘Evil Dead’, you have that surrealist moments such as the one where Ash reaches into a mirror only for it to turn into a puddle of water. It's surrealist flourishes like that which I could have done more with in ‘Rise.’

It does have some appeal. It’s nasty and grotesque in a way that should appeal to most hardcore of horror fans. The performances from all involved are very strong. Especially Alyssa Sutherland who once possessed gleefully hams it up to 11. It hits all the beats you expect from an ‘Evil Dead’ film. It’s incredibly slick in terms of production quality, but that may also be to its detriment. Another charm of the original film was its low budget punk rock nature. It was a film made by a group of ragtag friends for no money which only helped to lend to its absurdist charms. 

Much the same problem that plagued the 2013 remake, once you apply a slick studio budget, it does wind up stripping it a little of its modest charms. It’s a little like watching a garage band sell out to the corporate machine. As an ‘Evil Dead’ film? ‘Rise’ never quite lives up to the wild anarchic spirit of the original Raimi films from which it borrows. As a mindless gore fest? It's perfectly serviceable and adequate.

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Rating: 3 out of 5

-Daniel M

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[Review] Creed III (2023)

And so it has come to this. The 9th film in the never-say-die ‘Rocky’ franchise. Do I even really need to write a review for this? ‘Creed III’ is the perfect example of a film that is entirely critic proof. By this point, I think we’re all familiar with this story.

Who hasn’t seen at least one ‘Rocky’ film in their life? Who hasn’t sat with their blood pumping and heart racing while the epic montage shows us a passage of time as the hero gets stronger by the day? Who hasn’t sat on the edge of their seat, biting their nails as the epic final battle plays out?  Who hasn’t pumped their fists in the air in triumphant glory as the final bell rang? Who hasn’t felt that classic Bill Conti score pulsate through their bones in ecstasy? The staying power of this franchise has always been thanks to that never-say-die spirit that all of these films revel in and ‘Creed III’ is no different.

Picking up a few years removed from the previous film. Adonis (Michael B. Jordan) is now retired from the world of boxing and spending time with his wife (Tessa Thompson) and child in his lavish Hollywood Hills mansion. When Damian (Johnathan Majors), a childhood friend and former boxing prodigy, resurfaces after serving time in prison, he's eager to prove that he deserves his shot in the ring. Damian hooks up with Adonis and immediately badgers him for a title shot. Eventually, tensions boil between the two childhood friends as a bitter history reveals itself, setting up for the obligatory final showdown between the two raging bulls.

‘Creed III’ feels a bit like a potpourri as it rehashes elements from the original film, ‘Rocky III’ and, surprisingly, ‘Rocky V.’ Role reversals are the name of the game here. Adonis has gone from being the underdog looking for his shot to becoming the big shot. Meanwhile, Damian is the underdog, at odds with the world as he desperately seeks to prove himself. It’s a stand-out performance from Johnathan Majors that steals the show from a rather subdued Michael B. Jordan. It’s not the usual good vs. bad formula, but rather a tale of two men facing their childhood demons head to head in one epic showdown of almost anime proportions.

So, after 9 films of men slugging it out against each other, how can you possibly keep this visually arresting when just about every trick in the book has been played before? When there’s nowhere else to go, why not dare to go completely anime with it? Taking over directorial reigns from Ryan Coogler is first time director Michael B. Jordan, who manages to visually impress with an incredibly stylistic finale that isolates the two men from the crowd and really heightens the tension. I never thought I’d see the day when ‘Naruto’ would be informing the final fight scene of a ‘Rocky’ film, but by god, that day has come and to its credit, it somehow works without becoming a parody of itself.

It’s not without its flaws. The editing is a little haphazard. It does feel as if it were a longer film cut down significantly in the editing room to get to a 2 hour runtime. Some subplots are entirely lost along the way. It feels as if it's trying to juggle too much all at once. The third act kind of rushes by all too quickly and doesn’t do a particularly great job setting up the tension for the final fight. It really does feel like it was significantly edited down and winds up feeling a little haphazard in pace.

Also, the lack of Sylvester Stallone is both a curse and a blessing. On the one hand, it’s clear they wanted Creed to finally step out of Rocky’s shadow and become his own man. The plot doesn’t necessarily call for an appearance by Rocky, especially when it already runs the risk of being overcrowded. But at the same time, Rocky is the heart and soul of this franchise and his lack of presence is noticeable, but that’s a minor gripe.

‘Creed III’ is exactly what you expected it to be and there is nothing particularly wrong with that. It exhibits all the themes we’ve come to expect from this franchise. The will to fight against adversity, the will to prove one's self worth, the will to fight the demons that haunt us and the will to fight for love. These are the common themes that make a good ‘Rocky’ film and ‘Creed III’ continues proudly in that tradition without much in the way of fault. Like the old saying goes, if it ain’t broke then don’t fix it.

-Daniel M

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[Review] Cocaine Bear (2023)

 

Taking its absurd premise from an actual true story. Which in Hollywood speak means completely made up. The true story goes that in 1985, a convicted drug smuggler was found dead after a failed parachute jump. The working theory has it that he was on-board a plane which contained hundreds of pounds of smuggled cocaine.  

Paranoid that the feds were on their tail, the smuggler threw some of the stash from the plane. The smuggler was found dead in Knoxville with roughly $15 million dollars of cocaine strapped to him and that was that. Four months later, a black bear was found dead in the nearby woods. The cause of death was determined to be an overdose of Cocaine.

‘Cocaine Bear’ takes that setup and simply asks “what if the bear didn’t die and went on a murderous cocaine-filled rampage instead?” Meanwhile, unwillingly caught in the path of the bear is a collective of human prey. 

Among this random group of rag tags are the hired gangsters looking to retrieve the bags of cocaine for their boss (Ray Liotta), a detective hot on their heels, the quirky park ranger, a group of wayward teens who like causing mischief by way of random stabbings and a mother (Keri Russell) who is searching for her rebellious daughter. Not to mention the raging, frothing at the mouth black bear looking for her next hit.

When the trailer for ‘Cocaine Bear’ dropped late last year, it was powered by the sounds of White Lines (Don’t Do It) by Melle Mel. The trailer itself was absurdly hilarious and promised a fun throwback to the likes of the great B-films made by Roger Corman. The question is, does the film actually deliver on that promise? The answer is yes and no. If anything, it actually winds up feeling much more in the vein of 80’s Spielberg as it becomes more about the “family” element.

Tonally speaking, it is a bit all over the place. For gorehounds, there is plenty of gore to be had. It plays up its hard R-rating by delivering an abundance of spilled intestines, dismembered limbs and the likes. All of which are mostly played for laughs. It proudly plays up the horror-comedy angle and that’s all well and good. Less intriguing were its human characters.

Outside of Ray Liotta’s chiseled hard-boiled mob boss, I’m hard pressed to remember anything about the rest of them. That’s a shame considering the film spends a large chunk of its first 40 minutes establishing them. The problem is they’re all mostly bland cannon fodder. The reality is we’re all here to see the antics of the strung out Bear itself leaving the human characters to feel like a distraction.

Director Elizabeth Banks pulls a lot of cues from the likes of Sam Raimi and The Coen Brothers. It proudly wears its influences on its sleeves and never apologizes for it. The park ranger alone feels like a character ripped directly out of ‘Fargo’ with her quirky Southern accent.

I won’t deny that I got a few laughs from it, mostly with the CG Bear itself. The animators clearly had a lot of fun mimicking the behaviors of taking Cocaine and transplanting it into a black bear. But it mostly suffers from the same problem that ‘Snakes on a Plane’ had, where the premise and title alone were absurd genius but the movie itself was just rather flat.

Much like many of those direct-to-VHS horror films of the 80’s, it’s another case of the end product being unable to live up to the somewhat genius marketing fuelling it. It’s not without its charms and audiences will most likely have a good time with it, but for myself? I guess I wanted it to be more Roger Corman and less 80’s Amblin.

- Daniel M

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[Review] Knock At The Cabin (2023)

It’s the end of the world! Earthquakes, volcanoes, planes falling out of the sky, cats and dogs living together. Mass Hysteria! And the only way it can be stopped is if one of three people sacrifices themselves for the greater good. Such is the premise of M. Night Shyamalan's latest film, 'Knock at the Cabin.'

What starts as a fun family vacation for Eric (Johnathan Croff), Andrew (Ben Aldridge) and their adopted daughter Wen (Kristen Cui) turns into a nightmare as four strangers turn up on the doorstep of their isolated cabin in the woods. Led by a hulking adonis of a man in white, Leonard (Dave Bautista), they lay claim to sharing visions of the World’s End. They hold the family captive and inform them that the only way to stop the pending apocalypse is if one of the family members is willingly sacrificed.

The questions come thick and fast. Is it a shared group delusion? Is it just a bunch of whack-job evangelical doomsayers targeting a gay couple and their kid? Or is it a sign of God's wrath, and is the world truly at stake? As the clock ticks down, a series of natural disasters begin to occur in the outside world, bringing it all further into question as to what is truly happening. Is it merely coincidence, or is it the end of all life as we know it?

‘Knock At The Cabin’ takes the old Hitchcock quote of placing the bomb underneath the table and letting the audience know it will inevitably go off and runs with it. It’s a simple, almost brilliant setup that delivers enough tension to keep the audience involved.

Perhaps the most interesting thing about the film is how it plays against type regarding its characters. Leonard and his crew of home invaders are far from the menacing types you’d expect from a typical home invasion thriller. In fact, they are the politest set of home invaders you’ll see on this side of ‘Funny Games.’ Their actions mostly seem driven by fear, leading the audience to question their motives.

Dave Bautista turns in a surprisingly vulnerable performance as the group leader. It’s astoundingly well-played and further proof of the ex-wrestlers talent for acting as he dials down the theatrics and delivers a rather subtle performance.

Shyamalan intercuts the tension with glimpses of Eric and Andrew’s relationship beforehand. We find out that Andrew is driven by angst at his perceived persecution by the world regarding his homosexuality. Therefore, he’s far more willing to disregard their talk as the ramblings of god-fearing lunatics with an agenda. Meanwhile, Eric remains agnostically uncertain, which furthers the tension at bay.

For the most part, the film does well to keep the tension high throughout. But it does admittedly lose some steam going into the third act as it maybe over willingly answers too many of its own questions. It eventually goes from questioning the motives to becoming more about the ethical dilemma at hand. Maybe the one flaw it has is that it doesn’t add up to much of anything, at least in terms of something more thought-provoking or daring.

The central concept is intriguing but runs a little out of steam the more it unravels. The performances are outstanding and Shyamalan keeps the tension taut throughout. Even Rupert Grint of Ron Weasley fame gets a memorable performance for what little screen time he has. For the most part, outside of its characters, it checks all the usual boxes that come with your standard home invasion thriller. But still, I can’t deny that it felt like there was something a little lacking.

Given Shyamalan’s hard-on for surprising audiences, it’s relatively light on surprise come the end. But on the other hand, 'Knock At The Cabin' is an undeniably well-crafted thriller that is engaging for the most part. That said, I kind of wish the ending had transcended into something more memorable and challenging, given the circumstances of its characters.


-Daniel M

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[Review] - That '90s Show (2023)

‘That ‘90s Show’ is yet another attempt by Netflix to cash in on the nostalgia train. Having said that, I will admit that the idea of a spiritual sequel to ‘That ‘70s Show’ did somewhat interest me. My first viewing of ‘That ‘70s Show’ came via syndication long after it originally aired. Despite my usual lack of interest in traditional 3-camera sitcoms, I was actually quite taken by the misfits of Point Place, Wisconsin.

The long-winding tale of Eric Foreman and his gang of pretty-faced misfits growing up in the ‘70s had a certain charm to it that begrudgingly won this cynic over back when. It was your usual “pretty people doing simple things” type of sitcom, but more than not, it did manage to elevate above its trappings thanks to a remarkably likable ensemble cast. Even now, I’ll still find myself revisiting old episodes of ‘That ‘70s Show’ when I need a quick, mindless laugh.

‘That ‘90s Show’ picks up the story 20 years later. Eric (Topher Grace) and Donna (Laura Preppon) are now married with a daughter of their own. The unfortunately named Leia Foreman (Callie Haverda). Leia returns to Point Place to spend the summer vacation with her grandparents, Red (Kurtwood Smith) and Kitty (Debra Jo Rupp). The show follows the antics of Leia as she forms bonds with the current gen of local outcasts as they hang out in the Foreman’s basement. As the tagline for the show states; “times change, teenagers don’t.”
 
While the original show was as conventional as any other sitcom of the time, it did have its charms. Certain comedic devices such as the “circle” and the “split screen conversations” made it appealing. But most of its charm boiled down to casting. It was a potpourri of young Hollywood that gave birth to such stars as Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis. But more than that, it was a stroke of pure dumb luck in casting, as the kids had remarkable chemistry with one another.

They actually felt like a group of friends. The type of friends who would riff on each other, but also have one another's backs when push comes to shove from the threat of outsiders. They weren’t lacking in personality and made for a likable bunch.  ‘That ‘90s Show’ could have done a lot to learn from all of this. Lacking the timing and chemistry of their ‘70s counterparts, it becomes all too apparent that the new generation of kids simply can’t hold a candle to the legacy cast.

Meet your bland stereotypes for the '90s.

Gwen (Ashley Aufderheide) is the rebel girl equivalent of Hyde, only she never actually does anything circumstantial to stick it to the man. Hyde was into Malcolm X and protesting government overreach while Gwen didn't even finish reading the Riot Grrl manifesto. Can someone say poser? Jay (Mace Corone) is the son of Kelso; he has the bland good looks of every ‘90s teen heartthrob, but none of the stupid, wreckless charm of his father. 

Nate (Maxwell Acee Donovan) and Nikki (Sam Morelos) are the resident couple of the group. They’re kind of just there, sucking each other's faces for most episodes while bringing nothing of interest. And then there is the void of laughter that is the snarky Ozzie (Reyn Doi). Did we mention he is a gay minority? Don’t worry! The show will remind you every chance it gets while forgetting to give him any sort of character ark to go with it.

To put it simply, these kids are about as bland and inspired as a plank of wood. In some ways, they’d fit right at home in any bland ‘90s TGIF sitcom. They mostly just serve to swoon over one another without ever showing a hint of charisma. The only one who fares well in the new generation cast is Leia. Callie Haverda does well to channel the spirit of both her on-screen geeky father and fiercely independent mother. But even she can’t save this mess. That task is left to Kitty and Red. Kurtwood Smith and Debra Jo Rupp do the heavy lifting as they carry the entire season on their backs.

Smith and Rupp don’t miss a beat as they effortlessly slip right back into their respective roles as if no time had passed at all. For all of the show’s woes, I would be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy watching an updated version of Kitty and Red traversing the ‘90s. Hell, they could have focused the entire show on that alone and I probably would have enjoyed it more. In his older age, Red has mellowed a tad, but still has enough fire in him to threaten the kids with the occasional “foot in the ass.” Meanwhile, Jo Rupp’s Kitty is just as smothering and loving as she ever was.

Kitty and Red must have backs of steel to carry this show.

The legacy cast make all too brief cameos. Clearly, the budget couldn’t afford much of Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher as they show up for all of five minutes in one episode, despite being parents to one of the main characters. It's a missed opportunity as a whole. Topher Grace and Laura Prepon share a couple of nice scenes in the first episode before Grace peaces out all together. A couple of other familiar faces also show up and make the best of what little they have to work with. It’s fun to see the legacy cast show up, but it also highlights just how weak the new generation actually is when compared.

While the '70s brought nothing but weekly chaos to the Foreman residence, the '90s proves to be a rather lifeless affair. Despite being set in the ‘90s, it doesn’t do a great job of capturing the era. The ‘90s is best defined as a time of grunge, cynicism and counterculture. Outside of a clumsy ‘Clerks’ reference, there’s nothing here that screams any of that. These kids are almost too pure for the time period they’re living in. 

Does anyone remember the shocking 1995 Larry Clark expose that was ‘Kids?’ Those kids would make these kids blush. It's sad to me that even something like 'The Brady Bunch Movie' did a better job at lampooning the '90s. And that was made during the time period. I guess it shouldn't matter too much. Especially considering the original show mostly used the '70s as a back drop more than anything else, but it still could have been fun to see them skewer the '90s a little more.

For a time when kids were growing up with the likes of ‘Beavis and Butt-head,’ the dumbest of these kids should be way more scatterbrained and juvenile than even their parents were back in the ‘70s. But the most they can muster up is a nonstop rapport of “bro” love. As for Leia and Gwen, maybe the writers should take a look at something like ‘Daria’ if they need inspiration on how to write a believable ‘90s teen female friendship should they get a second season.

Even the soundtrack leaves little to be desired, as they clearly didn’t have the budget to shill out for the likes of Nirvana. The one thing it does capture, albeit unintentionally, is the blandness of every ‘90s TGIF sitcom. That might have been ironically funny had the writers been more aware and played into it.

Topher Grace remembers his beginnings...before he peaces out and is never seen again.

To put it simply, ‘That ‘90s Show’ is largely uninspired. Its lackluster attempt at recreating the ‘90s is the least of its problems. Despite its best efforts to evoke the ghosts of ‘70s past, it can’t capture that same lightning in a bottle. A combination of bad casting, bad writing and lackluster atmosphere makes ‘That ‘90s Show’ another dud attempt at repackaging nostalgia for a younger generation.

It’s fun to catch up with the legacy cast, but once they're gone, the show goes nowhere of interest. You know there is a problem when they can’t even recreate the magic of the epiphanies that came during the weed-induced “circle.” You know there’s a problem when every use of the “circle” in the new show feels about as fun as smoking ditch weed.


-Daniel M

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[Review] - M3GAN (2023)

The killer doll has been a long-standing tradition in horror spanning all the way back to the 1920s with ‘The Great Gabbo.’ As time has progressed, so too has the technology powering the dolls. If you look back at the 1989 film ‘Child’s Play,’ it was most notable for its effective use of mechanical puppetry to convey a true sense of personality. Times change and technology advances alongside, but the core concept remains the same. There’s just something inherently creepy about the lifeless eyes of a doll and the imaginary bonds that a child can make with an inanimate object that makes for good horror material.

At this point, the killer doll story is well-worn territory and I’m convinced there is very little anyone could do with it to truly surprise me. Therefore, it goes without saying that ‘M3GAN’ does little to bring anything fresh to this premise. That's not to say its without its charms though.

After losing her parents in a fatal car crash, young Cady (Violet McGaw) is sent to live with her Aunt Gemma (Alison Williams). Gemma also works as a roboticist for a high-tech toy company and is in charge of a highly advanced prototype code named M3GAN (Model 3 Generative Android). A life size doll powered by a sophisticated A.I. learning computer designed specifically to assist in caretaking duties.

Being a workaholic, Gemma struggles with her newfound role as acting mother to her niece. Meanwhile, after a faulty test, management scraps the M3GAN project, leading Gemma to give the doll to her niece. The doll imprints on Cady and the two form an inseparable bond. But as we’ve seen countless times over, it doesn’t take long until the doll goes from being an innocent best friend to violently overprotective.

‘M3GAN’ is the direct product of what happens when you take David from ‘Artificial Intelligence’ and cross him with Chucky from ‘Child’s Play.’ It touches on all the usual satirical points you'd expect from this type of film. The themes of consumerism, over-dependence on technology and fears of Artificial Intelligence gone awry are all explored. Its satire is sharp enough, but still pretty well-worn. You can roadmap the entire movie just by looking at the trailer alone.

Funnily enough, it wasn’t long ago that we had the 2019 ‘Child’s Play’ remake, which also shared similar ideas thematically speaking. In fact, I would say ‘M3GAN’ plays almost as a carbon copy of said remake, only with a feminine twist. I was in the minority who liked the ‘Child’s Play’ remake so it was a little jarring to see something that feels like a beat-for-beat copy so soon after. ‘M3GAN’ also feels like it could have been right at home as an episode of ‘Black Mirror,’ which I guess is only fitting when you consider the 1950’s ‘Twilight Zone’ episode ‘Living Doll,’ which a number of these stories owe a massive debt of gratitude.

It’s never particularly scary. The filmmakers are entirely aware. Thankfully though, it restrains itself from becoming annoyingly meta. Much has already been said regarding the meme-inducing moment of M3GAN learning a Tik Tok type of dance that was heavily featured in the trailer alone. It is indeed one of the notable highlights of the film. One could argue that there is nothing scarier than a rogue AI learning anything from the void of intellect that is Tik Tok .

Having said all of this, I could have done with a tad more in the way of genuine horror. Unfortunately, it does suffer from the PG-13 rating in terms of gore. There are points throughout where it feels like it became the victim of re-shoots. I could have done with just a little more of the red stuff had they let it have more of an edge. However, I was pleasantly surprised to learn that they used a physical animatronic doll for certain sequences. The filmmakers do well to utilize a nice blend of a real actor, CG and physical puppetry, which winds up looking more convincing than not. Also, Jenna Davis does exceptionally well at capturing the cold, clinical HAL 9000-like voice in feminine form.

It’s always nice to see a studio take a chance on a low to mid-budget horror movie. I’m certain that if ‘M3GAN’ does well at the box office then we will see sequels to follow. Hell, given it was produced by Universal studios, perhaps one day we'll see a 'Chucky vs. M3GAN' if popular enough.

‘M3GAN’ is not terrible by any means, rather it’s just an incredibly run-of-the-mill nuts and bolts horror film. It’s the very definition of a B-movie. The material is well-worn as it goes in every direction you expect it to go. But still, I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t at least enjoyable. Just don’t expect fresh water to be drawn from the well.

- Daniel M

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[Feature] - Shenmue III and the Importance of Routine

As 2023 kicks into gear, I continue my journey of weight loss. For the past five months, I’ve been trying to correct the wrongs in my life by building a better lifestyle for myself. Last year, at my heaviest, I weighed in at 225 kg. Not by any means a number I’m proud of. Come to the end of 2022 and I’ve lost 30kg in total, weighing in at 195 kg as of this date.

While I’m proud of my achievement thus far, I still have a long way to go in my journey, but the biggest thing I took away from last year was the importance of building a routine. As stressed by numerous influential people in my life, routine is key to building a better lifestyle both mentally and physically speaking. Boy, oh boy, did I take that message to heart as I went out of my way to build one.   

When I was a child, I guess I didn’t have much in the way of routine or discipline. Being the youngest in a family of three meant I was left to my own devices a little too much. Not to blame my parents, but routine is something usually stressed from childhood. A child who grows up with a strong sense of routine is more likely to be self-sufficient and capable in adult life than not. 

Take the life of a martial artist, for example. A martial artist lives a life of strict discipline and rigorous routine. The importance of these fundamentals is stressed from childhood, helping the child to grow into a balanced adult. Such is the life that has been stressed upon ‘Shenmue’ protagonist, Ryo Hazuki, from childhood by his mentor and departed father, Iwao.

For those uninitiated, 'Shenmue' is a series of open world action-adventure games created by the legendary Yu Suzuki. On the surface, it tells the story of a young Japanese martial artist seeking revenge for his departed father, but peel back its layers and you'll find something a little more than just that. It's best known as being the pioneer of the open world genre. One thing I appreciate about these games is the life lessons they have always stressed. Its game design has always operated around four basic principles: seek, fight, work and indulge. Four basic principles that could be said to be the fundamentals of life, which is only fitting considering ‘Shenmue’ is part life simulator.

One aspect of the original ‘Shenmue’ and its gameplay loop revolves around daily training. Being an Adventure game whose roots stem from a one-on-one fighting game, it allows you to spend time in the family dojo or the nearby parking lot training your extensive list of moves. While this is not necessarily stressed as a requirement to finish the game, it is something that makes up a part of Ryo’s daily life and helps to further flesh out his role in the world.

On the one hand, the fighting system in the first game is lenient enough to allow even button mashers to finish the game without much difficulty. But for those willing to devote time to learning the fighting system, there is a surprising amount of depth involved, as you can train and evolve your move set just by shadowboxing in the parking lot. Perhaps, at one point, this was meant to be a more significant part of the original game. Maybe somewhere along the line in development, AM2 decided to make the game more readily accessible to a broader audience. Whatever the reason, training played a part in the original game, but it wasn’t until ‘Shenmue III’ that it became a requirement of Ryo’s daily life.

While ‘Shenmue III’ wound up dividing the usually loyal fanbase straight down the middle regarding its debatable lack of story, I’ve always found it to be, in some ways, the most interesting of the franchise thus far. At least in terms of how it further fleshes out some of the gameplay ideas that were in place harking all the way back to the original game.

The main point of division among the fanbase regarding the gameplay changes made in ‘Shenmue III’ was the inclusion of a stamina meter. In previous games, there was no stamina meter. Ryo was free to run until his heart was content. ‘Shenmue III’ incorporates the new function of allowing Ryo to eat, alongside that comes a stamina meter. However, the stamina meter also plays host to your health meter.

Everything of vital importance is tied to this meter. If your meter runs out, you lose the ability to run as the game forces you to walk until you eat something to replenish the meter. Or if you enter an unexpected fight and your meter is half way down, then you are at a disadvantage to your maxed out opponent. The reason for this was to stress the importance of eating. This all ties back to the importance of finding a way to earn money to buy food. Which, in turn, sends the player navigating the various odd jobs and distractions that the game has to offer when not progressing the main plot.

‘Shenmue’ has always stressed the importance of money with regard to general plot progression. In the first two games, you literally can’t progress at specific points of the plot until you’ve earned enough in-game money to do so. What fascinates me about the third game is how YSNet attempted to go even further by making the in-game currency a vital part of everything you do. Earning money is a daily necessity and further feeds back into the game's strong sense of routine.

The other significant addition to ‘Shenmue III’ was the inclusion of strength and defense attributes for Ryo. Moving more into traditional RPG territory, the game stresses the importance of rigorous daily training in order to level up Ryo’s stats. The game level gates your enemies to a higher level. Training becomes a vital necessity if you want to beat your enemies.

While the original game did allow you to level up individual moves, it didn’t necessarily change Ryo’s physical stats. Ryo had no physical stats in the original games. There was no level gating. Instead the game catered to the skill level of the player with an automatic adjusting difficulty scale. While some have argued that the inclusion of these new physical stats was to mask the game’s shortcomings in its weaker battle system (as compared to the ‘Virtua Fighter’ engine of the first two games), I would argue it’s kind of a stroke of genius that helps convey the importance of routine through gameplay.

A typical day in ‘Shenmue III’ for me was spent as such. I would wake up, grab the fruit from the tiny kitchen of Shenhua’s house and have a quick chat with her. I would then leave the house, stroll casually down the path picking wild herbs along the way; then I would stop at the nearby martial arts dojo, where I would spend at least 30 minutes strength training by way of Horse Stance and the One Inch Punch. Afterward, I would go and spar with some of the martial artists of the dojo before bowing out and strolling into town to carry on my day.

That was my daily routine during my entire first playthrough of the game. It never wavered from that. That was every morning spent in Bailu. I would build my stats up every morning without fail. Even now, when revisiting it, I still adhere to this routine.

Harking back to the four WUDE learned in ‘Shenmue II’, it becomes all too clear that it’s a sly means of incorporating the principle of GON (to train every day without neglect) into the actual gameplay loop. Doing so does something that the original game touched upon but never entirely made into a necessity. It slyly stresses upon the player the virtues of routine. Live by the routine and Ryo will grow stronger as a result. That's not exactly a bad lesson as far as life lessons go.

As of now, in my current daily life, my real-life routine is as such. I’ll wake up, apply some skincare, have breakfast, read a couple of pages in whatever book I’m reading, drink at least 2L of water a day and do strength training for 20-25 minutes working with weights or resistance bands. Then I’ll do some work followed by a 7km walk around the neighborhood in the late afternoon. I’ve kept to this since August of last year. In many ways, it’s not unlike the one I fashioned for Ryo.

Due to this, I have developed an appreciation for the benefits of building a routine. It helps clear the mind of all anxieties. It helps to build muscles. And it most certainly helps to lose weight and improve my quality of life. It also gave me a further appreciation for what Yu Suzuki and his team at YSNet were trying to communicate with ‘Shenmue III’ and its gameplay loop. Sure, I could delve into the many shortcomings of the game, but I’d rather focus on what the game did right and what the game was earnestly trying to convey.

‘Shenmue’ has always stressed patience over instant gratification. It’s a game that wants you to earn its riches through exploration and discovery. 'Shenmue III' simply takes that to the next level by further stressing the importance of daily routine through actual gameplay. Much like life, it’s a game that wants you to learn key fundamentals through rigorous discipline and routine.

In many ways, the overarching revenge plot that fuels ‘Shenmue’ has become a bit of an afterthought for me. Don’t get me wrong; I’m still invested in one day receiving closure to this epic saga of revenge. I still want to know how the story plays out like everyone else in the fanbase.

But the natural charm of ‘Shenmue’ lies in the journey underneath. At its heart, these games are less about revenge and more about living a martial artist's life as he grows and develops in technique. Along with that come the many principles of life imparted by the numerous influential people he meets along the way. Be it the necessity of striving to do the right thing, keeping friends close, always being humble or even striving to improve oneself every day by training.

‘Shenmue III’ may be a flawed game in many regards, but for those willing to invest their time, it does an earnest and fantastic job of conveying the fundamental necessities of life through gameplay. Perhaps that's not what everyone is looking for in their escapist medium, but I personally appreciate the lengths it goes in order to express these ideas. 

In an industry that is mostly about instant gratification and mindless thrills, I believe that ‘Shenmue’ deserves a round of applause for at least trying to impart the core values of patience, discipline and routine. It’s a shame it took me 20 years to fully cotton on and apply them to my life, but at least I got there in the end. Also, who said video games couldn't teach you anything important?

- Daniel M

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[Review] - Clerks III (2022)

Despite his many attempts to break into the mainstream, writer and director Kevin Smith has always worked best when he keeps his films small and personal. Maybe that’s why it pains me so much to say that ‘Clerks III’ is an astounding mess of a film. What should be his most personal film to date is actually a muddled mess of ideas that never fully pay off.

Thirteen years after the events of ‘Clerks II’, we find our listless slacker heroes, Dante (Brian O’Halloran) and Randal (Jeff Anderson), still working the counter at the Quick Stop convenience store. They’re older, greyer and more wrinkled, but the store itself looks like it’s been preserved in a time capsule straight out of 1994. The conversations, too, remain the same as the boys continue aimlessly dissecting pop-culture over the counter. After a casual bout of verbal sparring with Elias (Trevor Fehrmann), Randal collapses, suffering a near fatal heart attack mirroring Kevin Smith’s real life tragic near death experience from a few years back.

Having survived the operating table, Randal comes to a grim realization of just how little he has done with his life and begins to fret about whether he even had a life worth saving. He laments that all he has done with his life is sit around and watch movies. Dante casually remarks that he always thought that Randal could make a good movie. This sets off a light bulb in Randal’s head and becomes the impetus for him to make his very own movie recounting his life story working at the Quick Stop.

‘Clerks III’ spends most of its time having Dante and Randal remake ‘Clerks’ within the film. This is not necessarily new ground for Kevin Smith. This premise alone instantly recalls his ill-fated box office disappointment ‘Zack and Miri Make a Porno.’ Which itself was a riff on the excellent making-of ‘Clerks’ documentary, ‘The Snowball Effect.’ 

Much like ‘T2 Trainspotting’ from a few years back, ‘Clerks III’ relies heavily on playing into nostalgia. It is a film that is very much concerned with reliving Smith’s former glory days. Whereas ‘T2 Trainspotting’ had a certain bittersweet lament as it examined its own heavy sense of nostalgia through a critical lens. ‘Clerks III’ plays its nostalgia mostly for warmth and fondness. That would have been fine had the movie been funny, which, sadly, it isn’t.

Most of the second act is spent watching Dante and Randal as they go about making their own version of ‘Clerks’. These scenes go on for far too long and feel like constant reminders that the audience should be watching the actual ‘Clerks’ instead. It was cute at first to revisit the now aged faces that made up the small cast of the original movie, but it all wears thin very quickly as it never provides any greater insight.

It also further highlights one of the many problems with ‘Clerks III’ as nothing in this film seems to go anywhere. Dante’s old flame, Veronica (Marilyn Ghigliotti), shows up for a scene that could have hit the cutting room floor and wouldn't have been missed. As for Dante’s wife, Becky (Rosario Dawson), it seems that Smith went to the school of 'Alien 3' as it is revealed in the opening act that she died in a car crash straight after the events of ‘Clerks II.’ 

This becomes the thrust of Dante’s dilemma, as he struggles to deal with the untimely loss of both his wife and unborn child. Dawson does show up briefly in ghostly form, allowing for Dante and Becky to share a couple of what should be touching scenes on paper. Sadly, O’Halloran’s lack of range lets these scenes down as they border on being unintentionally comedic.

‘Clerks III’ struggles to find a good balance between sentiment and unfiltered blue comedy. Considering where this film goes in its final act, I should have been sobbing like a baby given the fate of Dante. Sure, it's a bold choice but it's completely unearned. Worse still, it all felt emotionally manipulative. The film struggles to find its footing dramatically speaking, but an even greater sin it commits is that it’s seemingly terrified of offending anyone. What made the original ‘Clerks’ memorable was its irreverence..

It was a film about blue-collar schlubs having lewd, crude and unfiltered conversations in an effort to kill time at a monotonous job. ‘Clerks’ was made by a kid in his twenties who didn’t know any better. Because of this, that unfiltered raw voice was what made it a staple of its generation. That unharnessed voice was what made ‘Clerks’ doggedly funny and refreshingly honest.

‘Clerks III’ brings nothing new to the table, further confirming that Smith is completely out of touch with these characters. The truth is, he is no longer that same guy he used to be. He’s older and far more sentimental, but he’s still trying to write for characters that he won't allow to grow up. As is evident by Dante's reset, it's almost like Smith is afraid to allow these characters to change with the times. Much the same problem he had writing for the slackers of ‘Zack and Miri’; it feels dishonest in its voice. Most notably with Randal.

As much as I’ve enjoyed Jeff Anderson’s portrayal of Randal in the past, the character is only as strong as Smith’s writing allows him to be. Even Anderson will himself confess to not being much of an actor. Despite the claim that this is a film about Randal getting his shit together, it never lets us get to know him any better. That is a real shame, as there is that beautiful moment in 'Clerks II' where he drops the armor and reveals a hint of vulnerability at the threat of losing Dante to Florida. Oh, what could have been if Smith had built on top of that?

Burdened with the same mullet that he has had since 1994, the script never allows Randal to grow as a person. Nor does he come into his own as the director of the film within the film. Despite the life-threatening ordeal he endured, he’s still the same one-note cynical asshole that he always was.

There are no new memorable conversations to speak of. Instead, the humor relies on a bunch of meta jokes and callbacks that only super-fans will get. I can take only so much of Smith’s prodding before I tire of it. All it did was confirm that Kevin has become that annoying, out-of-touch Uncle who constantly pokes you and reminds you how funny he used to be.

When ‘Clerks III’ was first announced, I had a lot of trepidation about revisiting these characters for the third time. ‘Clerks II’ did a great job of taking the angry young men and plunging them head first into adulthood as they became the masters of their destiny. I didn’t believe much more needed to be said about Dante and Randal. But I was still willing to give ‘Clerks III’ a shot, hoping it would be a return to form for Smith.

Instead, it’s every bit as bad as I feared and then some. The drama doesn’t work. The comedy is just lame and desperate. Its message regarding the nature of life and death is incredibly tone deaf. Worse still, it regresses these characters as it throws most of the progress made from the previous installment out the window.

Its visuals are flat and uninspired. Granted, Smith has never been the most dynamic of visual storytellers, but he wasn’t this bad in the past. Everything looks overlit and flat. It does feel like he has regressed in every possible way. And as for that ending? It is one of the most self-defeatist things I’ve seen on screen all year. So much so that it made me question whether or not Smith is still suffering from post-coronary depression.

The trouble with ‘Clerks III’ is that it feels like it has something it wants to say but never figures it out. It has death and nostalgia weighing heavily on the mind, but it’s almost like Smith is too afraid to confront that side of himself. Instead, he relies on lame callbacks and half-baked melodrama instead of facing and working through his fears on camera.

In trade interviews, Smith said that he wanted this film to help inspire people to take charge of their life. I can’t say I felt inspired; instead, I just felt a bitter sting of emptiness as the film ends on a dour note of loss and regret. I get that this is a personal story for Smith, given his near brush with death a few years back, but he survived that ordeal to live another day. He not only survived, but he also did exceptionally well changing his lifestyle for the better. So why is he so obsessed with having his characters succumb to a lifetime of failure? 

‘Clerks III’ is a muddled mess of ideas that never really come together in any meaningful way. It’s more in love with the idea of being a shrine to Smith’s past than finding what he wants to say regarding death and nostalgia. If I want to relive the past, I’ll stick to re-watching the original and far superior ‘Clerks’ instead.

-Daniel M

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[Feature] - My Ten Favourite Films of 2022

10.) Jackass Forever

(Dir: Jeff Tremaine)

Even in their 50’s, these guys are still doing this shit and guess what? It’s still unapologetically funny as all hell. If you’re a fan of the ‘Jackass’ crew, then you’ll understand that the real charm of this crew is not the insanity of their antics, rather it's the sweet brotherly love they share for one another.

There is something utterly endearing about this ragtag group of misfits that is hard to deny.  For as much pain as they’ll put one another through, it’s all done with absolute love. And when I say pain, believe me, even in their 50’s, these guys are still willing to put themselves through the most unimaginable shit for our amusement.

Especially testicular pain. And you thought the scenes of testicle mutilation in Lars Von Trier’s ‘Anti Christ’ were fucked up beyond belief? Just wait until you see ‘Jackass Forever’ and the length of pain Danger Ehren goes through, testing the vitality of an abdominal guard. Mind you, this is all played for laughs and somehow it works! God help me, it’s lowbrow and crass to the core, but it’s still fucking hilarious to me! They say with age comes wisdom. May wisdom never come to these guys.

9.) RRR

(Dir: S.S. Rajamouli)

In a time where I feel a lot of films are becoming increasingly too bloated for their own good, along comes an epic like ‘RRR’ to remind me how you can get the most out of every last minute put on screen. At an epic 187 minutes, I was never bored or left to check my watch, as every minute feels completely earned in this film.

‘RRR’ is a tale about two legendary revolutionaries and their journey away from home before they started fighting for their country in the 1920s. In a word? Epic. Epic as all fuck. Featuring some of the craziest choreographed fights filmed this side of ‘The Raid’, a metric ton of romance and an abundance of humor; it crafts an age-old tale of right versus wrong, legend and friendship. Well worth the 187 minute investment.   

8.) Licorice Pizza

(Dir: P.T Anderson)

The simple charm of P.T Anderson’s ‘Licorice Pizza’ is that it’s a film where everyone is pretending to be an adult. The film is full of children who yearn to be treated as adults as they desperately try to act grown up. Meanwhile, the adults are children only pretending to be grown up. Basically confirming that everyone is just as lost as one another. That’s kind of comforting to this 30-something lost soul. ‘Licorice Pizza’ is all about that universal theme of trying to find one's place in the universe, telling an age-old story of finding love and self-discovery in California’s San Fernando Valley during the 70’s. 

7.) The Northman

(Dir: Robert Eggers)

‘The Northman’ is best described as an action film filled with thrilling and suspenseful moments.  It is also a gritty revenge tale filled with unsettling moments that will have viewers on the edge of their seats or perhaps even tensed up.  The action here is brutal, dark, gritty and violent.  Amleth decides revenge should be slow and toys with those who wronged him first, leading to many big reveals and showdowns along the way.

An epic film with a straightforward story and effective use of Norse mythology. Its intense rituals, powerful imagery, guttural and pounding music and display of culture in its authentic setting makes for an entertaining and memorable experience. Stunning scenery, brutal and bloody fight scenes and great acting performances, I thoroughly enjoyed it.

6.) Rageaholic

(Dir: Yoshiki Takahashi)

A lone, hard-boiled grizzled detective is pushed to the limits as he is faced with an all-too overbearing polite and fascist society. At first glance, you can’t help but notice the similarities to 'Demolition Man' in regards to the basic plot, but what really occupies ‘Rageaholic’s’ angry heart is a seething contempt for the overbearing politeness of Japanese society. First time Director Yoshiki Takahashi does well to satire a culture that is built on conformity and priority to the group over the individual. 'Rageaholic' is a gleefully violent, darkly hilarious and scathing satire. 

5.) Vortex

(Dir: Gaspar Noe)

‘Vortex’ is a surprisingly sober affair from enfant terrible, Gaspar Noe. At least in terms of style and presentation, that is to say. There are no wild drug-addled camera tricks on display. Just a simple story of an elderly couple in their final days as they succumb to dementia. Despite the lack of that distinct Noe visual style, don’t be confused into thinking that he has lost his ability to provoke. Vortex is still a deeply affecting film as it showcases the true horrors of facing death. It’s not the fear of losing one's body, rather it’s the fear of losing the mind and the memories that come attached.

It’s remarkably haunting and incredibly effective. In some ways, it’s Noe’s most mature film to date and perhaps his most personal given his own parents' experiences with dementia. Much like everything else Noe has done before, it’s a divisive film, but for those willing to take the journey, it’s a deeply moving and haunting film that will stick with you.

4.) The Menu

(Dir: Mark Mylod)

Have you ever found yourself as perplexed by foodie culture as I am? I’m talking about the types of people who photograph their meals for recognition or status on social media without ever really savoring the meal itself. If you’re as perplexed by this culture as I am, then 'The Menu' is probably going to be right up your alley. 'The Menu' is a deliciously wry skewering of foodie culture, social class and the excesses of entitlement.

It is a horror comedy that tells the story of a bunch of rich, obnoxious and fairly unlikable social elites who have been invited to eat at an exclusive high-class restaurant on a remote island where the chef has prepared a lavish menu, complete with some shocking surprises. I appreciated the claustrophobic nature of its setting. Ralph Fiennes delivers in spades as the deeply unhinged masterchef. Even though the satire isn’t always the most subtle, I still thoroughly enjoyed the film and its many jabs at those who take the service industry for granted. 

3.) The Whale

(Dir: Darren Aronofsky)

Winning the prize for the most divisive film of the year, 'The Whale' is a deeply affecting film that tells the tale of a 600 pound recluse in his last days of life as he attempts to reconcile with his estranged daughter. I guess audiences will either fall into the camp of being entirely moved by this or enraged by it as they label it misery porn. Myself? I fall into the former camp. I was incredibly moved by its humanity.

Brendan Fraser’s Charlie is a beacon of light in a tide of misery. Perhaps the most frustrating thing about 'The Whale' is that, as compassionate as Charlie is at heart, he unfortunately can’t show himself that same compassion. But that is the nature of depression for which I applaud this film for so openly elevating to the forefront. Fraser deserves the praise he has received for this role and it is perhaps Aronofsky’s most humane film since 2009’s 'The Wrestler'. It’s by no means an easy film to digest as it is refreshingly honest with its cracked mirror reflection, but it is an important and incredibly moving film that finds what it is to be human…even if you are trapped in a 600 pound shell. 

2.) Decision to Leave

(Dir: Park Chan-Wook)

Park Chan-Wook returns with a slightly different beat. This time out he gives us a Neo-Noir Romance. It's a slight change of pace for Park but I enjoyed the more low-key nature of this quite a bit. Tang Wei and Park Hae-ill are both incredible in this film. I found it to be an incredibly mesmerizing romantic murder mystery with an ending that lingered on my mind for days on end. It’s an intricate and emotional game of cat and mouse right up until the very end. While not quite as visceral as his earlier work, it is far more mature in its craftsmanship. For my money, it’s one of Park’s best works to date. 

1.) Beavis and Butt-head Do The Universe

(Dir: Albert Calleros and John Rice)

It’s kind of fitting that we started this list with Jackass Forever and ended it with Beavis and Butt-head. Just as I will never tire of the Jackass crew, the same could be said for Beavis and Butt-head. Between this and the equally hilarious new season that aired on Paramount Plus, it was actually a terrific year for the dynamic idiot duo.

Initially, I wasn’t sure whether ‘Do The Universe’ could live up to the excellent ‘Do America.’ But lo and behold, it’s not only a terrific sequel, but also the sharpest satire of the year. Transporting the boys from the 90’s into modern day via Time Travel was a stroke of brilliance which gave way to some hilarious moments. 

Be it the boys learning they can now pay for Nachos via phone or learning about the ills of white privilege on campus. Not to mention the surprisingly touching yet equally hilarious scene where Beavis pours his heart out to Siri as if she were a real person. And then you also have the addition of Smart Beavis and Butthead. Droll, very droll.

The world around them may have changed, but sadly, some things remain the same as Mike Judge and company continue to skewer the absurdities of society. At a time of increasing tension and unease, it’s good to have these guys back in form to remind us that it’s okay to laugh at the stupidity surrounding us.

Honorable Mentions -

- Smile (Dir: Parker Finn)
- Triangle of Sadness (Dir: Ruben Ostlund)
- Everything Everwhere All At Once (Dir: Daniels)
- X (Dir: Ti West)
- Belle (Dir: Mamoru Hosoda)
- Hustle (Dir: Jeremiah Zagar)
- Funny Pages  (Dir: Owen Kline)

- Daniel M

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[Review] - Crackers (1998)

The Christmas season is once again upon us. A time for giving. A time for good cheer. A time for celebrating. A time for stuffing yourself with too much food and beer. It’s also that time of year when the family gets together to enjoy the company of one another. For some families out there, this may be bliss. But for most? Well, it’s usually an exercise in misery. Depending on the fragility of the family in question, of course. Christmas cards tend to opt for the image of the harmonious smiling family sitting by the Christmas tree in peace and harmony. Thank crap for the movies where we can at least get a slice of exaggeration regarding what Christmas is truly like for most of us.

Sure, the dysfunctional Christmas family get-together in film isn’t a new concept. I’m sure that we’ve all seen National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation countless times. But it’s rare to see an Australian slice of Christmas family dysfunction presented on film. Back in 1998, there was one such film that attempted to fill this niche. A relatively low-budget and raucous slice of Australian comedy known as Crackers.

Upon release, it was burdened with a lousy poster that did little to sell the movie. The poster contained a simple image of a ragtag family in front of a red background. Not exactly the most striking of poster images. The title of the film wasn’t exactly a stand-out either. But given my family's love for Christmas Vacation and the many comparisons made by the positive trade reviews, it resulted in a family trip to the cinema to see this slice of Australian Christmas.

I remember it vividly. We were the only four in the cinema at the time. I guess the underwhelming poster did little to spark interest in the majority. Maybe it was a case of bad marketing? Most Australian films tend to have terrible marketing as is. Despite a lackluster poster, the film hidden underneath was anything but rubbish.  I feel it’s an overlooked Australian gem just waiting to be rediscovered.

Crackers tells the tale of the Dredge family as they indulge in the misery of one another's company during the Christmas break. The film is told through the eyes of only child Joey (Daniel Kellie) as he struggles to come to terms with his mother dating again after the tragic loss of his father in an aircraft accident. Not coping with the loss of his father, Joey has developed a bit of a death wish as he keeps chucking himself off of school roofs in a desperate plea for help.

Realizing that they both need a break, his mother, Hilary (Susan Lyons), arranges for them to spend Christmas at her parents' house. Making matters worse, she’s also invited her new boyfriend, Bruno (Peter Rowsthorn), and his angry teenage son, Angus, by whom Joey is constantly antagonized.

The film wastes no time in setting up the stakes. The family packs the car and embarks when the first misfortunes strike. During the car ride, Joey is called a “dickhead” and beaten on by Angus, while the family station wagon is almost totaled in a head-on collision. If there was ever a foreshadow of the chaos to come.

Upon arrival, they’re treated to a meal that consists of charred grilled burnt sausages, lousy-looking potato salad, plenty of white bread covered with thick slabs of butter and a bottle or two of beer to go with it. Angry blow flies swarm about the table as the mean old cuss of a grandfather, Jack (Terry Hill), attempts to kill them with fly spray. Nothing has ever screamed Australian Christmas more so than this.

The stern and stubborn Jack quickly turns his attention to Bruno. Bruno and Jack couldn’t be more different if they tried. Bruno, a fashion photographer from the city, and Jack, a stubborn blue-collar worker from the ‘burbs. Worlds collide as Jack belittles Bruno’s manhood. Tensions further escalate with the arrival of Jack’s estranged father, Albert (Warren Mitchell), an old scoundrel Glaswegian fresh out of prison. With the house packed to the rafters, young Joey is forced into the tool-shed to sleep alongside Albert.

Much like Christmas Vacation before it, the film plays as a loose series of sketches during the days leading up to Christmas. Everyone in the family has their own drama of sorts. Jack still harbors a grudge against his cheating father for abandoning him and his mother when he was a kid. Bruno tries to make an impression on Jack but fails miserably at every turn. Aunt Dotty (Valerie Bader) is a frumpy, lonely woman whose best years are fading away. The grandmother, Violet (Maggie King), is ever-so cheerful and tries to keep the family together but is utterly oblivious to the fracturing seams.

Meanwhile, Joey is confronted with the devastating reality of Bruno potentially becoming his new stepfather as he learns that his mother is pregnant. As Joey navigates through the trials and tribulations of dysfunction, he finds solace in his kinship with Albert. Eventually, a through line develops as the pair strike up a deal to fix up an old weathered sailboat to give as a Christmas gift to Jack.

The comedy is mainly situational, but Director David Swann does well to keep escalating without ever going overboard. The jokes come quickly as it moves from day to day in the build to Christmas. As Murphy’s Law states: anything that can go wrong will go wrong. For what’s Christmas without the occasional fistfight at the local pub, mince pies spiked with dope or even the family dog being accidentally burnt to a crisp on the good old Aussie barbie?

It’s difficult not to compare Crackers to another popular 90’s Australian comedy, The Castle. Both films play a large chunk of their comedy at the expense of the quirks of the modern suburban Australian family. But whereas the Kerrigan family is a rather sweet-natured family with only a hint of dysfunction bubbling underneath, the Dredge family straight up wears its dysfunction on its sleeves for all to see. But for anyone who has endured the chaos of such a family, it’s still remarkably relatable, even if it is incredibly broad in stereotype.

How many times have we all heard that same story of the Christmas from hell spent with the dreaded in-laws recounted by our married friends? Or those days spent with family members you may not always like but have to love anyway? Or those dreaded Christmas lunch conversations where your elders judge your every decision through a thin lens of discontent and disappointment? Or worse still, the dreaded conversations where they compare you to someone else in the extended family as if you could never live up to their preferred golden child? We’ve all heard these stories time and time again. We’ve all undoubtedly lived these moments time and time again.

This is where Crackers scores many of its laughs for me, as it dials these situations up to 11. The big laugh-out-loud set pieces aside, the little cringe moments, such as Jack’s not-so-subtle critiques towards Bruno’s perceived lack of manhood, make Crackers excel the most in its relatability.

But even amidst this chaos, the film never forgets to remind us that the ties which shackle us together are what truly makes the Christmas spirit meaningful. As doomed as this family seemingly is on the surface, underneath still pumps a sincere beating heart as this gaggle of geese eventually learns the true meaning of Christmas through tragedy.

As such, it always baffled me why this film never caught on with a mainstream audience. Even here in Australia, it seems to be mostly forgotten. Maybe it was just too Australian for its own good? Perhaps it was a victim of a terrible marketing campaign? With a delightful ensemble cast of misfits, I would have thought this would have more legs than it did. Whatever the reason, it’s a shame it never got the attention it deserved.

Growing up Australian meant I couldn’t always relate to that picturesque White Christmas that American films love to showcase. But I could more than relate to the sting of a Dry Summer Christmas with a smoking barbecue out the back. Sure, perhaps it’s not the greatest film this country has ever produced, but it certainly has its charms that many Australians could easily relate to. In the tradition of the great Australian comedy, Crackers piles misery on top of self-deprecation but also manages to find a good heart underneath. In that sense, it’s very larrikin in spirit.


- Daniel M

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